Lipstick, High heels, Pearls and Daydreams

Bonus post today!

A fellow knitter sent me a link to this website.  Go ahead and click it.  I'll wait.

Much sighing.  You guys.  THIS.

Now, I'm not a cleaning nut.  I go through phases where I'll scrub the beejeebus out of stuff and other times where I look at things and think, well, you can still make out the floor through all the cat hair, so we're good.  See, I work a full-time job and I have a lot of hobbies that I like to do.  I try my best to keep up with the dishes and the bathroom fixtures, and the necessary stuff that makes me feel like I could at least have someone come over if they give me an hour's notice, I dim the lights, burn a candle and they sign a contract that they will not open that door at the end of the hall.  Sort of like the story of Bluebeard.  Just.  Don't. Open. The. Door.

In my mind, my imaginary life is most akin to that of a 1950's housewife.  Things are clean and spotless and blindingly white.  I am, in short, together.  In reality though, I am one step away from being featured on Hoarders.  Okay, not really, but there is that spot under the radiator in the kitchen where I spilled something two months ago and the mop doesn't reach under there and, well... it mocks me every time I go in there. (I see you, spot and your day will come!)

Recently, a friend loaned me The Magic Art of Tidying Up and it has changed me.  I piled all my clothes on my bed and went through every single one of them, picking them up, turning them around and waiting for my body to tell me if this piece sparked joy.  Amazingly, it works.  9 garbage bags of clothes later (I didn't even think I had that many clothes and yes, most were donated), my bedroom is a place of serenity and stays that way.  It was truly magical.

All this to say, that when I opened this link the other day, my heart literally skipped a beat.  Oh, the beauty of the packaging, the simplicity of the ingredients, the suggestion of the scents... I was weak at the knees.

I was suddenly transported.  There I was, bright white sunshine streaming through my laundry room windows, the stacks of neatly pressed and folded clothing (all of it white of course), the scent of slightly scented ironing water hanging in the air - clean, crisp, serene.  My black and white polka dot dress, black heels, pearl necklace, bright red lipstick and neatly curled hair...I want it all.  I want to buy all the things.

Shopping cart filled up, credit card out... then I remembered... and closed the website.  Tonight, I will pull on jeans, dig out my cruddy sneakers and go down to my dark, dank basement that smells slightly of cat pee thanks to my cat with litter box issues.  I might wear pearls though.

So there was this sale...

Hey there!

Picked my brother up at work the other night and we stopped at the grocery store to get a few things. That's when I saw it.  The sign said, "Blueberries... Buy 1 Get 2 Free."  I stared at it a while.  Surely, this couldn't be right?  They must have meant, "Buy 2 Get 1 Free."

I looked at that sign for a bit and finally, just went ahead and piled 6 pints into my cart.  What the heck.  Why not, right?   I do loves me some blueberry jam, as well as blueberry pie, but that's for another day since THIS mama has been counting those calories, and yes, I know jam has a lot, but you all... Buy 1 Get 2 Free.  That's all I'm saying.

Anywayyyy... I brought them and the next day, set about washing the berries and sorting through them.  There was only a few that were not acceptable and those I tossed with disdain into the compost.

Darn it.  Not enough sugar and what??  I knew I bought pectin, but could not find it.  Off to the grocery store for both.  Too bad there isn't a local sugar cane or sugar beet farm.  I have a feeling that sugar is one of those things that if I knew the conditions of the workers, I would never buy again, but ignorance is bliss, as they say and I somehow doubt that either of those crops grow in Pennsylvania.  (When we lived in Arizona, where I grew up, I used to see the trucks with sugar beets all the time, so I'm guessing the climate here is not conducive to either crop.)

While I was there, I looked through the meager canning supplies and thought for the umptiumpth time that I really should start a business that specializes in canning and putting food up supplies.  (I could call it, "CAN this!")

Home again and dumped the rest of the sugar on the berries, as well as the pectin.  I had jars all sterilized (which is super important in water bath canning) and ready to go along with hot lids and rings.

This is my steam canner, that I only use for sterilizing since there is lots of argument about it being hot enough to kill bacteria inside a full canning jar

The jam came to a boil and threatened to over flow the very generous pot I had them in, which is why I don't have a pic of that step.  I let it boil for the suggested amount (although now that it has cooled, it appears that I could have let it go for a bit longer, as the jam is more syrupy than jammy.) and loaded up the hot jars with the hot jam, swiped the rims with a clean paper towel dipped in white vinegar,

I then slammed on a lid and ring, tightened them finger tight and plunked them as I finished them one by one into the hot water bath.  You should always have about an inch of water over the tops of the jars in water bath canning, just so that you get a good seal and even heat throughout the jar.

The jars were processed for 15 minutes, because they were pints and that's what the USDA says for that size.

Tonight, I removed the rings, washed the jars in hot soapy water and placed them upside down on the dish towel to dry.  They are beeee-you-ti-full!

Here they are pictured with a batch of beans I pressure canned.  I did the beans because my supply was running low and they make a great addition to salad or a quick dinner of bean tostados (which is what we had tonight).  These are black beans and chick peas (garbanzos or chi-chis if you are Italian).

I cannot wait to have some delicious blueberry jam on toast with a fresh poached egg or two and maybe some homemade sausage.  Oh, I should do a post about that, right?  Best Christmas present ever... the grinder attachment for my Kitchenaid Mixer!  (or as I like to call it, "The Goddess of Kitchen Equipment"  I love that thing!)

Greetings fellow carbon units!

I thought I would give you a quick update on my dwarf fruit trees.  If you will recall, I planted a peach tree, an apple tree and a plum tree last fall.  I also had a couple of fig trees, but in order to not keep you in suspense, I can tell you right now that they did not make it through the winter.  I'm going to try again with them at a later time.

Getting back to the three fruit trees.  Well... I ended up buying another apple tree, peach tree, apricot tree and a nectarine tree.  That's a lot of trees to cram into one tiny backyard, but I managed.  Besides, they're dwarf and won't get too big, as long as I keep them under control.

As for varieties - well, the peaches are Intrepid and Elberta.  I grew up in Tucson and have fond memories of picking Elberta peaches in the hot sun and biting into them, right there in the orchard. The sweet sticky peach juice usually ended up all over my face and shirt, but man was it worth it.

Intrepid  Peach

The apples are a Honey crisp spin off and an Cox;s Orange Pippin.  The Cox's Orange is an old variety and it is the only one that isn't a dwarf, but I haz plans for that one.  I intend on trellising it against the fence, but we'll see how that goes.  It is supposed to be a good all purpose apple and one that is used in a lot of the hybrid crosses we have today.  It is also supposed to be a good cider apple, and I lurve me some cider, I will tell you.

I don't remember what the apricot, the plum or the nectarine varieties are, but I'm looking forward to them fruiting in the next few years.  Apricot jam, might just be my favorite.

Apricot Tree

At any rate, they all made it through the winter with flying colors and are growing with astounding amounts of vigor.  I will do some summer pruning at the end of next month just so they don't get too big or leggy.  My goal is to have nice sturdy trees that can withstand a fruit load easily.

Now the next garden addition is pretty sweet and I've been enjoying the heck out of them.  Meet Susan Beak Eggthany and Mo Clucker.  Suzie is the dark red one and Mo, is the one with the whiter feathers around her neck.  They are about 10 months old and have been popping out an egg a day each since mid-January.

They're quiet, well behaved, love eating bugs and they eat the heck out of the dandelions!  Also, Mo has a serious thing for strawberries, so I'm always shooing her out of the strawberry bed. She was too fast for me here and played keep away with Suzie while gobbling up her ill gotten gains.

Chickens are a natural for any garden - free manure and it's supposed to be the best manure ever once you let it compost some.  Plus, can I tell you?  They have huge personalities!  Who knew?

They come running when I shake their treat bag and always follow me around checking out what I am doing and making sure I do it correctly.  They make this funny sorta soft clucky noise when they see me and I have just been having the best time.

Here, I was trying to get a picture of an intriguing weed.  Ran right over to investigate right as I was taking the picture.

The very best part is the fresh eggs.  You seriously have never baked something before if you have not used a fresh, laid 15 minutes ago egg.  Fluffy, light as air baked goods.  Did you know that most of the eggs you buy in the grocery store are about 3-6 months old when you buy them?  There really is no comparison at all.

Now, I am sure someone is going to ask, but the answer is "no."  You do NOT need a rooster in order to get eggs.  You need a rooster if you want fertilized eggs.   Just as a human woman produces an egg every month regardless of whether a man is present or not, so do hens.

I really think that if more people knew how fun and easy chickens are, more people would have them.

Okay, well, that's about it.  Until next time, please remember, Be Kind To Each Other.

With Silver Bells and Cockle Shells...

Hello gentle readers,

Know what is gross?  Potato bug larvae.  So very, very gross.  They are slimy and squishy too.  Which is good, because it makes picking them off of potato plants and disposing of them easier.  But... shudder.  blech.

If you have been reading my blog - first off, that makes you ultra cool - but secondly, you may recall that last year, I started building permaculture beds and taking steps to create a little "food forest" in my urban backyard.

I started by creating some sheet mulched beds with lots of good stuff.  So far, the results are pretty good.  My strawberries have been pumping out 2 to 3 berries every day.  Certainly, not enough to make jam, but they are tasty.  This is their first spring in the ground, so I imagine they are still getting established and hopefully, I will get a decent crop next year.

(Aren't my nails FABulous??  They're my new favorite obsession, Jamberry nail wraps.  These are Mermaid Tails mixed up with some regular old nail polish on the rest of my fingers.)

Secondly, the apple tree... I'm so happy with it this year.  It still needs a ton of pruning and shaping, but so far, there is no sign of scab on the leaves or the apples.  I also thinned the apples I can reach and maybe it is my imagination, but the remaining ones look so much bigger already!

This is my little salad garden.  Things that are doing well:  lettuce (two varieties) and the carrots look promising.  Also, I planted some dragon tongue beans along the back.  'cause... dragon's tongue... coolest name ever.  They're doing pretty well.

Things that aren't:  The collards are doing well but I'm sharing my harvest with cabbage moths; same with the cabbage; the kale; and the brussels sprouts.  I probably should have used row covers.  Next time.

Along the side of the house, in the driveway, I started a container garden and almost everything is looking really great although I have nary a bloom on a tomato plant yet.  I planted:  potatoes; sweet potatoes; tomatoes; peppers; squash; cucumbers; watermelon; and winter squash.  Most of them are in these new-fangled plant pouches which are supposed to be way better for the plants and prevent root bound problems.  So far I like them, but I am concerned they are not quite large enough for the potatoes.

Speaking of potatoes, I may have gone a bit overboard when I ordered the seed potatoes last year.  I have 17 pots of potatoes.  Apparently, I forgot I didn't live on a farm.

Alright you guys, that's about it for today.  Next time, I will show you how the dwarf fruit trees are doing, plus a little introduction to my new weed and bug control system.

Until then... remember -  Be kind to each other.

Some Like It Hot

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a4cNVusWlVs

It was a lousy year for my peppers.  They pretty much sat there all summer and then all of the sudden, sprouted a bunch of peppers.  In the meantime, I got three bags full of chili peppers from my CSA share.  Two bags of Anaheims and one bag of Poblanos.

The end result of this, was that I found myself with a ton of chili peppers.  I thought about what I could do with them.  Most of the canning websites suggested pickling them in vinegar.  eh.  I'm not overly found of pickled peppers in spite of the fact that I used to be able to say that tongue twister perfectly at top speed, so I kept looking.

Someone suggested a chili pepper mead.  Intriguing.  I do make mead - pretty good mead, if I do say so myself.  However, that would involve a lot of honey and perhaps not as many peppers as I had.

Someone else suggested green enchilada sauce.  Oh heavens, I do love me some green enchilada sauce.  Es verdad. Este es muy bueno.

So, I chopped up the lot...removed as many of the seeds and membranes as I could.

and then took my emulsion blender to them.  Not happening.  Just not enough juice to get it going.  hmmm...

So I decided to add a little bit of water and cook them for a bit until they were soft.

 I simmered them for about 30 minutes and then revisited the situation with the blender.  ahhh... MUCH better.

A few whirs later (but not before getting a splat in my eye... ouch) I had a beautiful smooth puree, which I then put through my food mill.  I ended up with this lovely stuff...

Holy mole, it looked so good, that I took a little sip from the spoon.  Holy Mother Of All That Is Sacred.  Several minutes later, when my breathing and pulse had returned to normal, I decided to let this atomic stuff cool, divide it up into SMALL portions and freeze it.  I can add some chicken stock to some of it and make green enchilada sauce that way.  Or at least that is the plan.  Either that or let it eat through the floor boards.

Update on the saurkraut... it is bubbling away and looking very saurkrautesque.  You can see it in the next photo, to the left of my hand.  Today in my CSA share, I received this monster...

I have named him Sr. Winthrop C. Cabbage.  Guess what I'm going to do with him?  Yup... more saurkraut.  Here is his friend, the Esteemed Buford S. Butternut, III.

 He shall become butternut squash gnocchis and perhaps some smooshed squish with butter n brown sugar...

Now, I have to go see if my tonsils are still there.

Good Soup Weather

I was all set to do some fall yard work today.  Perhaps some cleaning up some dead canes and straightening stuff up, but when I woke up, it was damp and dreary.

So instead, I cleaned up the kitchen.

Then I thought, "Self?  Why don't you make some soup?"

"Self", I said, "That's a great idea."

So, I did.  This:

Plus about 2 hours, became this:

7 Quarts of vegetable beef soup.  I forgot to put vinegar in the canner, so I have to scrub haze off the jars tomorrow once they've cooled and settled, but still.  

I had enough left over for a big bowl for lunch.  

Perfect day.

Doh!

Why have I never thought to plant strawberries before?  Little red nuggets of mouth watering deliciousness, sun warmed sweetness... mmmmmmmm....
It makes perfect sense that I do plant them, since I generally make strawberry jam every year.

Strawberry Jam Canned in One of My Vintage Ball Jars

Most years I make strawberry shortcake from scratch and serve it with real whippy cream, 'cause seriously nothin' says summer quite like that to me.

Homemade Strawberry Shortcake

So why, oh why would it never occur to me to actually plant my own?  Who knows.  The important thing is that today I have taken steps to remedy that situation.  I bought 20 bare root strawberry plants.  There are enough growing days left to get them established this fall and actually harvest a few next summer.

Here's something I didn't know.  There are two different types of strawberries - June bearing and ever bearing.  Why decide?  Get some of both.  Yes, have some.  The names sort of tell you what you need to know.  June bearing have one big crop, usually in June of the second year after planting and the ever bearing varieties bear fruit all summer, beginning with the first year after planting.

I can't wait to get them and plant them so I can get those tasty little morsels of summer next year!  I think I may have just the bed for them.... 

NOM NOM NOM!

It Takes A Village...

Today I woke up with a clear vision in my head of what I wanted the porch railing/wall to look like.  It would have to be 36" tall with a wide shelf all the way around to hold drinks or maybe a pretty potted plant or two. Because of this, the design had to be modified slightly.  Instead of the end posts reaching all the way up to the ceiling with the eventual screening in mind, I would cut the studs, lay the board for the shelf on top and when I am ready to screen it, I could just cut a stud from the shelf to the ceiling.  No biggie.

This might be better anyway, because then I could take the screening down at some point without having to tear down the railing or trying to make awkward cuts sideways to cut it flush with the railing wall.  I'm not sure the set of circumstances that would lead me to take down the screening - perhaps a sharp blow to the head or some world wide event that led to the destruction of mosquitoes, but you never know.  I'm sure the little bloodsuckers fulfill some sort of biological nook that if empty would lead to something horrible, such as a shortage of hops or some such catastrophe.

At any rate, after employing my youngest daughter, I was able to obtain accurate measurements.  Guess what?  The top rails were indeed slightly bigger than the bottom ones.  Measurements in hand, I headed down to the local home supply and purchased my supplies.  I decided to try my idea out on only one side for the moment to see how I liked it, so I only bought enough material for the driveway side.

Since I don't own an electric saw, I got one of the helpful sales associates to cut my pieces to my specification.  This is one of those services they offer that is priceless.  I also stopped and looked at house numbers and signed up for a free estimate on a kitchen cabinet facelift.  Or whatever they call it.  Where they take the doors and drawer fronts off and slap some new ones on and veneer the cabinet bases.  That thing.  I doubt I would go for such a thing at this point, simply because a.  the cabinets are of the cheapest quality (although they ARE wood) and b.  I want the kitchen to be redesigned to actually be practical.

Getting back to the porch... here is my materials list:

1.  4 2X8 framing studs cut into the following lengths:

• 83" for bottom rail
• 83 1/4" for top rail
• 4 pcs 32" 

2.  1 8"X1"X96" pine board cut to 83 1/4" long

3.  Finishing nails

4.  Masonry screws

5.  3" long deck screws guaranteed not to rust

6.  Caulk 

7.  One male neighbor to come over half way and tell me what to do

I did not have to get that last one at the store, since I already have several of those at home.  I got home, dug out my drill and got to work.  There were a couple of moments where things started to go pear shape, but I persevered and this is what I ended up with:

Now from the other angle:

I'm pretty freakin' proud of myself.  Now I have to get the panels and attach them to both sides to finish it up, cover the edges with molding, paint it and I've got my first railing/wall done.  

About the point at which I got the top rail attached and was trying to figure out how much of an overhang I wanted for the shelf (known as the reveal), one of my male neighbors came over to tell me to use screws and not nails because I was "killing myself with the nails."  I held up the drill and a handful of screws.  This did not bring the instruction to a close, however. 

 "Use finishing nails for the top and then take this little thing that looks like a round screwdriver and tap the ends into the wood."  

"A nail set," I said.

"Yes," he said then continued, "Then hit it with some wood filler and it will look great."  

"Thank you for your help," I said and after he walked away, I walked over and picked up the box of finishing nails, the nail set and the wood filler I had sitting on the porch about 2 feet from where he was standing.  I've got this.  

The Maths Are Hard

Okay, not really.  I'm adequate at math, despite the B- I received from my college math professor (I'm looking at you, grade-curve spoiling math majors).  But when it comes to this kind of stuff, which is really straightforward math, I get a little intimidated.  It's wood, but for some reason my brain says, "Oh, I bet that bathroom really could use a good scrubbing."

So here we have me as I went out to measure the porch:

Handy measuring tape and pad of paper with porch roughed in...

This is what I came up with:
For the side nearest the driveway, the bottom where the wall will sit measures 83".  Up 36" from the base of the columns in that opening measures 82 1/2".  The columns narrow as they go up.  See the problem?  That second measurement should be bigger, not smaller.

Not to be daunted by mere measuring issues, I moved on to the next opening, between the two front columns, which also taper ever so slightly towards the top.  The bottom opening measures 84".  Up 36" from the base, the opening measures 83 1/2".  Again... should be a bigger number, not a smaller one.  Right?

But whatever, it is math, right?  I moved on to the next opening - where the steps are.  bottom measurement is 50".  I didn't bother with the upper measurement for railings 'cause there's going to be a door there.  A 30" door.  Which means there will be a tidy 10" on either side of the door.  Sort of.  Because once again, the column narrows as it goes up, so that 10" on the column side will obviously be a bit bigger as it goes up.

I think that says it all.

I never want this to be a whiny space, because that gets old real fast, but after saying that I must say that every muscle in my body is screaming at me in capital letters today.  If you listen real closely, you can hear it, "WHAT do you think you are doing?  You're not 20 anymore! Blah blah blah"

They're saying a lot more, but basically, it's more of the same sort scolding tone.  Whatever, muscles... all the scraping, sanding, demo, etc., is complete and I spent all day Sunday painting and I gotta say, I am happy with the result!

I love, love, love the clean, perfectly white paint and how clean it looks.  Don't you agree?  The previous owners got paint on the beaded ceiling when they painted before, and I gotta be honest, it irks me completely, but not enough to remove it.  Therefore, I just didn't add to it.  I have a real steady hand with painting and a great sash brush that I love, so not so bad.

I really can't believe how much better it looks already.

Two coats of paint with primer - I chose a flat finish rather than satin or any type of gloss because honestly, I was a bit worried about how those other choices show up any imperfection that exists and believe you me, there are plenty that exist.  However, I feel I must say this now - none of this woodwork I've scraped and painted have lead paint.

If you think you have lead paint (there are lead paint tests available at your local building supply place and I don't believe they are expensive), please be safe.  Purchase a kit and if it tests positive, you're should contact your local government to learn how to safely deal with this.  This is especially important if you have small children or dogs who might ingest paint chips.  It's just not worth it folks.  Nothing is more important than your family's health and well being.

Stepping off the soapbox... I am at a point where I am going to have to go down to my township office and apply for a building permit.  Even though all I am doing is screening it in, my township requires it.  While I can ignore it and just build the thing, I'm running the chance that one of my neighbors complains or simply that the code enforcement comes around - and I would be forced to take it all down.  Kinda worth the $75 it is going to cost to avoid such heartbreak.

I'll be able to build the railings while I wait for the permit to come through since I must have one.  So next up... railings!  Now, I'm going to go soak in the tub for a while.  Maybe pour a glass of wine... candles... bubbles...

Porch Project - Scraping, Sanding, Washing...

Ugh!  That's all I can say!  What a hot, sticky, miserable job to scrape all the loose paint.  About 1/2 way through, I was tempted to go in the house, snag one of my daughter's beers and burn the paint off with vile curses I hurled at it from the comfort of my air conditioned living room.  But alas, that will not work in this universe (I'm totally putting in a request for that super power), so I persevered, urged on by the constant mosquito strafing and finished it up.

After I finished scraping, I gave the whole porch a light sanding with a medium grade sanding sponge, switching up when the sandpaper seemed gummed up (it took three altogether).  Once that job was done, which seemed like a walk in the park compared with the scraping, I swept up all the debris and got ready for the next step.  By getting ready, I mean getting a hoagie for lunch and watching an hour of HGTV in the air conditioning.

After dragging myself  eagerly returning to work, I filled a bucket with warm water and a healthy squirt of the blue dishwashing detergent preferred by oily penguins and started to work scrubbing the woodwork down.  Up until this point, I was just sweaty with decorative paint chips plastered to my cleavage (and in my bra as I later discovered), but as filthy nasty water showered down on me I moved into a whole new area of funk.  10 years of dirt and whatever all loosened up, I then turned my hose on the wood and got it all rinsed until no more suds were seen.

Since I got the wood pretty saturated, I decided to wait until tomorrow to start painting.  I went inside, got a nice long hot bath and took my daughters out for dinner at Kraftwork in the Northern Liberties section of Philly.  If you're ever in Philly, you MUST go to this place:  great beers, wonderful food in a great atmosphere.  Shameless Philly plug finished.

Oh one thing I have to replace is my house numbers.  Even though I tried to very carefully remove them so I could put them back (not that they are exceptional or anything - just didn't think about replacing them), this is what happened:

Poor little tiny number one.  He used to be big, but snapped right in half and then some.  Oh horrors... now I will have to find some on the intertubz that appeal to me.  Darn.

Next up... Painting!  But now it is time to feed my kitties before they eat my soft bits.